About 7 million are active Jehovah’s Witnesses and Memorial attendance swells the number associated with the Witnesses to about 19 million, as of this writing. This indicates many are inactive or even disfellowshipped but still attend this important event  each year. Out of this large number of people, how many doubt the infallibility of the Watchtower Society? Or to draw a larger contrast, how many have discovered that the WTS and the Governing Body do not have all the answers that we are led to believe, and in all likelihood do not have Jehovah God’s Spirit at all? These Christian Witnesses have been called the “Conscious Class” by some. This site talks about those of us that are “enlightened” to the truth about the truth and may be of this group.

Without arrogance or self-aggrandizing, without looking down on our fellow slaves and thinking we are better than them, the question I’m asking is this: Why does it matter how many of us there is? What difference could it possibly make? How many are “sighing and groaning” over the struggle we face at the Kingdom Hall? When at nearly every meeting the “faithful and discreet slave” interpretation that imbues the WTS and the GB with their power is squeezed into a talk on parenting? Or on one about the field ministry, or the apostles, or the role of Christ in our lives, etc., etc., etc. Brother Perimeno talks about this at length on his site, and this scripture takes on a bittersweet and very important new understanding for us:

(Ezekiel 9:4) . . .And Jehovah went on to say to him: “Pass through the midst of the city, through the midst of Jerusalem, and you must put a mark on the foreheads of the men that are sighing and groaning over all the detestable things that are being done in the midst of it.

Maybe we are the ones getting this mark today? At least in principal perhaps we are. The “sighing and groaning” can go on to the point that it affects our personal prayer and our study of God’s word, our fellowship with our Christian brothers and sisters, and we are discouraged. Or worse, we give up. We hate ourselves, we think our entire life has been a waste, when it has not. We can’t let that happen! And so again we ask the question posed at the outset: How many out there are like us? How many are elders? How many are Circuit Overseers? How many are Bethelites? How many are actually Governing Body members themselves? (See Crisis of Conscience, re: how several GB members didn’t even believe in 1914, including President Knorr) Is it more than we think? The new elder book was leaked onto the internet before many elders even went to the Kingdom Ministry School and got their copy. Many confidential letters are available online. There is a website about the blood issue and all the changing policies of the WTS, where brothers from the Hospital Liaison Committee anonymously contribute because of a troubled conscience and a sincere desire for change. These facts tell us that something is wrong. We know God and Christ are aware of it, that goes without saying. But nevertheless it should give every one of us pause. Paul under inspiration said:

(2 Corinthians 13:5) . . .Keep testing whether YOU are in the faith, keep proving what YOU yourselves are. Or do YOU not recognize that Jesus Christ is in union with YOU? Unless YOU are disapproved.

At a gathering I was at recently the conversation ended up on how we aren’t gonna live in the stone age in the New World. As far back as I can remember whenever the conversation turns to this topic someone usually says we are gonna use horses and buggy’s- And then someone else says no we will be using all of our brains, yada yada yada back and forth it goes and it can be a fun, albeit pointless, little chat. The opinion was stated that we can use our minds to develop technology and why would we suddenly drop all of that after Armageddon. Then I chimed in and cited the Creation book, page 236 where it shows an illustration of brothers using a tractor and another large piece of equipment to clean up the earth. (The pic is here.) At that point a sister made a very interesting comment in the heat of the conversation. I know for a fact that she does not even have the internet in her home, but she said “Well just because it’s in the Watchtower does that make it so?” And that’s when my jaw hit the floor.

But the discussion moved on of course and it was quickly forgotten by all…except me. Or maybe it wasn’t forgotten but was noted by several in the group…Which again goes back to the question of how many of us are there are out there. How would we know? We remain by necessity anonymous for the most part. Whether online or out in service, if we are to remain members in “good standing” within the congregation we have to keep quiet for the most part, or the inquisition could/would begin and we would be subject to the WTS’s most devastating punishment.

So how many are like you? Like me? Maybe a better question is how many of us does God and Christ want there to be? And what do we do now? Let’s pray for answers friends, and see where the spirit leads us.

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27 Comments on How Many are Like You? Like Me?

  1. serein says:

    hi iv faded from the jws since last year and thoe they have repeatedly tryed to get me back iv declined, i decided becouse of my faith in god and wanting to do whats right
    i cant stay within that organisation any longer,
    i find fault,
    i had no real freinds,
    i felt like a drone,
    i also had a blood transfusion and it saved my life,
    i dont beleive in what they teach about the blood isues,
    as i find that scriptures they quote,
    only mean animal blood and also sacrifices,theres alot i could go into when it comes to why i left,
    but the blood was the bigest problem for me.
    iv sent a diss letter in and il be no longer a jw as from tomorow if they take it, i say this becouse i sent one in last week and they gave it me back and said i had to sign it in ink, for them to accept it,
    then repeatedly tryed to get me to talk with them,
    i felt overwelmed as its been going on for a long time
    and im a very caring person who dosnt want to upset anyone but they are persistent.
    i just want to go my own way from them and find the right path that i know isnt with them,
    if im dissasociated will that mean if im on ur site no ones going to talk with me and il be shuned here to.
    im not a drunk or a fornicater, im a peacfull truth searcher whos a lost sheep.


    • Picardo371 says:

      I’ll talk to you and you’ll find that a great many other’s will as well. You seem to be a conscientious searching Christian and just because you may not be part of the official JW family doesn’t mean you’re not part of my family and many other’s who love Christ as well. Please hang in there, continue your studies, persue the Lord Jesus and know with every fiber of your being that you are loved!

      Your Brother in Christ,


  2. lurk says:

    There will be no traffic, we will all have flying cars.
    We will clean up the earth with anti-matter shovels.

    Just because it’s not in the Watchtower it doesn’t make so.
    Enjoy. ;P


  3. serein says:

    i dont like the fact that i had to put my email on here but hope its all gona be ok. also im here as im looking for truth, im looking for a path that i should be on but havnt found it yet,i have this yerning to find it and until i do il keep searching,do any of u have this same feeling,i find so many faults with wts, ans althoe in the begiings of my walks with them i felt them to be true path i know find i was on the winding road to distruction
    i feel so sorry that people who have the same feelings as i do cant just stand up for them and leave,to me it was something i had to do,i want to do what god wants not what a man made org thinks i should be doing,god comes first and becouse of that i left.u have to be true to urself and not have any douts cos if u do then its wrong,no one would have any douts if it was gods true and right people.i felt like i was a drone and others looked the same but just carry on,i have many isuse that id love to discus with u all and hope theres many from u that i can join in on.


    • belongingtojah says:


      you are not alone – I too had this feeling that I had to separate myself from the false teachings of the wto – everytime I would go to meeting I would not come away upbuilt and encouraged like I used to. I started reading only the Bible and praying for understanding – linking one scripture with another – after a while everytime someone spoke about Jehovah’s word scriptures would start pouring through my mind – I believe in this way Jesus and Jehovah speak to all of us on an individual basis – causing our minds and hearts to be filled with his sayings which are spirit and are truth.

      So hang in there – continue reading the Word and the spirit will cause you to know what Jehovah’s mental concern is.

      your brother in Christ


  4. andrew says:

    There is so much fear of being DFed because of apostasy that is very, very difficult to talk to others how we feel. As I have said I used to serve as an elder for some 13 yrs. I stepped down. I was sighing and groaning internally but it got to the point I could no longer serve as elder with a clean conscience. The rest of the elders know to a certain point how I feel, I have not had the courage to let them know that I believe there is absolutely no chance that the FDS is in charge of all of Jesus’ belongings. I have told my father this who is an elder.

    Any serious student of the bible who is atleast somewhat open minded will sooner or later begin to have some doubts. Then he will either forget about it, or dig deeper. Most Jws never do serious bible study either because of lack of interest or that we are kept so busy we really don’t have time. It is only when I stopped busying myself with busy-work that I had the time to study and meditate on what the bible was saying. It was shocking to me how little I really understood of the bible, even the greek scriptures. Before I would read Paul’s letters and it would seem to say blah, blah, blah and then suddenly some text that is familiar for JWs, then blah blah etc.

    Then I really took the time to try to understand using several bible translations, began to pray for insight and all of a sudden boom! I began to understand. I began to have strong doubts on the veracity of certain doctrines esp. the way JWs live basically under a law code. I felt very guilty at first but I began to read Christendom’s bible commentarys and then so-called apostate web sights. They all confirmed my worst fears but I also felt liberated from all the man made garbage rules of the Society.

    I say all this to show its takes a special set of circumstances and frame of mind to be led by God’s spirit to these truths. I hope the fear of being labeled an apostate subsides in the organ. because if it does this whole thing could snowball, but I’m not holding my breath.


    • neutral says:

      does this sound familiar to anyone who knows what abusive relationships are like? ALWAYS do EXACTLY as your told,because “I said so” or you will be punished by the one having power over you. After just so long of being told to wear only approved clothing,reading only approved materials,not EVER,EVER questioning why or why not,being isolated from EVERYONE,ANYONE who might give you the slightest clue you’re being lied to or manipulated,always thinking “If I just be a little better I’ll escape punishment…And of course those NEVER ENDING promises that it’s gonna be better SOON…After just so long you sincerely forget you have the ability or right to think for or about yourself.After all if you truly loved the one who literally holds your life in his hands, all this would be something you WANT,right!? I don’t know what kind of “god” you choose to worship…but The Almighty Creator of heaven and earth did NOT have this kind of idea in my when He sent Christ Jesus to earth out of His UNDESERVED KINDNESS AND LOVE for mankind!You were not given a spirit of cowardice…Take it from there!


  5. Amos says:

    What an excellent article Bro JJ,
    I’ve been racking my brain to find a way of “enlightening” some of the JW’s that I know. I do know that some of them are really hurting quite badly & dissollussioned as well….but they just won’t talk to a dfd brother. This is fear of man, what man can do to them. What they should be doing is their own personal bible study, & drawing closer to Jah, & the Messiah.


  6. Amos says:

    Hi Serein, & welcome, you’re among friends here, & they will help you in your search for the truth of the scriptures.
    Another thing…you won’t be shunned either, as this is an unscriptural action. You can read the threads dealing directly with this thought.



  7. serein says:

    i feel at ease at the moment as i feel free to search the scriptures and what ever else i need to find truth without looking over my shoulder all the time,
    i should have had my diss read out tonight at meeting so i dont know if they did do it this time or not,will i get a letter saying anything about it from them or is that it.
    i feel god is calling me to him and that im doing the right thing,but sometimes i sit and i start to worry that i may be wrong,its hard when you actualy make the desision to diss urself as u will understand but i dont have family in truth,
    my husband has left with me,


    • Amos says:

      You will both have many mixed feelings for some time yet, so please throw yourself into searching for truth within the scriptures, along with prayer for the Holy Spirit to guide you in your studies. The object is, quality not quantity, so never rush your studies.

      I am all alone, as far as family are concerned, so I know how you must be feeling. All my family are still within the WTS, so I have no contact at all, I wasn’t even told when my uncle died.

      Would your husband like to join into discussions also? I think that this would encourage you both greatly if he did.



    • Jayme says:

      Welcome sister serein! I share the same sentiments as the other brothers have commented. :) I still worry a bit even after 3 years. It will happen, especially if you were raised in the “truth”. The more research and study you do will help alot to assure you that you made the right choice. Yes, be patient and throw yourself into bible study. You will be amazed how the Holy Spirit will direct you in this. You are also warmly invited to visit Paradise Cafe Discussions, a dicussion board full of warm loving brothers and sisters who have been affected by the WT. They have a wealth of spiritual incite and are always willing to share and comfort. May God bless you on your journey!


  8. serein says:

    hes working alot at moment so dosnt have as much time as i do to search and join in yet hes been looking on the sites iv been on but as yet hes not joined.


  9. Jayme says:

    We had our curcuit overseer visit this week. His talk last night revealed that many bro/sis must be suffering from discouragement and anxiety. The talk basically was to rally everyone not to give up and continue in meeting attendance and service. Lots of statements about being loyal to Gods “visible organization” to keep Jehovahs approval and get relief. “Do just so” was also a key phrase. The lines were so obviously (to me anyway) blurred between Jehovah and the Organization.

    This weeks WT study has a very troubleing statement about how by following the Governing Body we are actually following Christ. I’m sure it will cause some cognitive disonance for sincere brothers. JJ, I hope you dont have to conduct this study. LOL!


  10. alistbrother says:

    I saw this site and it has impressed me with the tone and goal that it seems to put forth. I think that it is possible that this was in prophecy. I think that it was in prophecy that many would be sighing and groaning, but I also think that it may have been prophecy that those identified as causing the sighing and groaning are in fact the Faithful and Discrete slave. Please read the following verse and note the capitals:

    (Matthew 24:45-49) . . .Who really is the faithful and discreet slave whom his master appointed over his domestics, to give them their food at the proper time? 46 Happy is that slave if his master on arriving finds him doing so. 47 Truly I say to YOU, He will appoint him over all his belongings. 48 “But if ever that evil slave should say in his heart, ‘My master is delaying,’ 49 and should start to beat his fellow slaves and should eat and drink with the confirmed drunkards,
    (Matthew 24:45-49) . . .Who really is the faithful and discreet slave whom his master appointed over his domestics, to give them their food at the proper time? 46 Happy is that slave if his master on arriving finds him doing so. 47 Truly I say to YOU, He will appoint him over all his belongings. 48 “But if ever THAT EVIL SLAVE. should say in his heart, ‘My master is delaying,’ 49 and should start to beat his fellow slaves and should eat and drink with the confirmed drunkards,

    If you see I think that this is saying that the evil slave is in fact the faithful slave identified in the question that is posed in vss. 45.

    Please tell me opinions on this. This is a rather crude presentation of my argument, but I hope that general point has been communicaded


    • Amos says:

      Greetings Brother,
      This has been on my mind for quite some time now, & perhaps you are correct, it will be good to discuss it more fully.

      My view is also that the “appoint him over all his belongings” of V47, is not until the Parousia & establishment of the Kingdom during the Millennium.
      When we put the scriptures together, the “saints” don’t receive their crowns, & begin to reign with the Lord until after Armageddon. So my view is that those who believe this applies before Armageddon have the wrong view. The FDS, don’t dispense the food to the rest of the flock pre-Arma, (unless ALL the saints are the FDS), but to those during the restoration following Armageddon. It must be remembered that Arma. survivors & those resurrected, (not of the anointed) make up the “New Earth” & the saints ARE the “New Heavens.” (but not until after Arma.)

      Just a couple of thoughts.



  11. Anonymous says:

    JJ – Just wanted to chime in here. I’ve read some of your articles and believe me, you’re not alone. I’m a bit younger than you but was on the same path. I was an elder for about 10 years and was being used at the circuit and district level when I finally investigated those nagging feelings and doubts. What I discovered shook me to the core. Still, it took a couple of years before I could finally “step aside”. Once I did, I felt a lot better. Honestly, I now question the existence of God and the validity of the Bible although I’m still open to looking at it.
    I still attend to keep the peace with my wife, but I usually leave the KH in a bad mood after hearing the glorification of the GB time and time again. Certainly, if the Bible is the Word of God, the WTS is not following it.
    So, what do those of us in the Conscious Class do? The threat of DF’ing is very real and for those of us with family and/or many years in could be very devastating. And, the GB knows this.

    While I applaud your efforts, I’ve come to the conclusion that reform is probably not going to happen in my lifetime (I’m in my early 40s). I wish I could think differently because I don’t necessarily object to being a JW (I’m a born-in) but the level of control is unbelievable.

    If Abraham could call Jehovah unreasonable and negoitate the number of righteous people in Sodom, or if Thomas could question the validity of Jesus’ resurrection and demand physicial proof, why is it that JWs can’t do the same of the GB? To me, if God was with them, they wouldn’t act this way. But the only way reform is possible is if someone humbly looks at the issues and listens to the common folk. And, that’s why I don’t think it will happen.

    Anyway, sorry for the length and I’ll be checking in!


    • neutral says:

      We were informed at a recent assembly that not chewing gum during any type of organized meeting was a COMMANDMENT!!! NOT a matter of conscience!! WOW!!! Talk about adding to the scriptures! That was the first of many red flags.And”Oops,I,I,I phones,ALMOST ACCIDENTALLY did a worldly thing by endorsing a worldly product.” That was pretty red also!I have COMPLETE faith that the God of Abraham hears our hearts. Please do not let those who have plotted to defeat you out of jealousy for power undermine the LOVE you know the Rightful Sovereign has for ALL of mankind!Pray,let’s all of us pray that His kingdom come…


  12. K says:

    Not to seem ignorant but I can’t figure out how to Post..Oh Well..I am just wondering if anyone has young children? I do and I have a very strong desire to raise them to “Fear God and Give him Glory” How do I teach them to do this IF and it is a big IF we decide not to go to meetings or claim to be part of the Org anymore. I want to give them hope and reasons and friends and now I am not sure of anything. I haven’t changed things for them yet but I don’t know where to start. I want them to have a ministry of sorts, not necessarily the one that I was brought up with. I am just learning how to Teach myself and am searching but do not want to abandon them spiritually. Is it fair for me to teach them to adhere to teachings that I am questioning? And they are so full of questions, I just want to give them the “right” answers. Additionally the Bible repeatedly speaks of the Church or Congregation so that leads me to believe our worship should not be isolated it should be collective..has anyone reached this conclusion and what have you decided to do?


  13. andrew says:

    Hi K welcome,
    Matt. 18:20 comes to mind “for where 2 or 3 are gathered together in my name, I am there among them”
    It is clear that gathering together with other christians does not have to be in a large group. Perhaps in the beginning just your family. Later when you find other christians you are comfortable in gathering with, do so. Though gathering in a large congregation perhaps is more satisfying to the human point of view, it is of no greater value in God’s eyes.

    Only you can determine what to teach your children. Perhaps start with basic things. The Sermon on the Mount possibly is a good starting point. Pray to God to give you wisdom and guidance in knowing what understanding to give to your children.


  14. Lester Kite says:

    I felt that way also but my fade and falling away happened relatively quickly around the 1993 period I attended the memorial that year and I attended the DC at Twickenham the following year for a couple of hours on a baking Sunday afternoon and that was it! no more memorial CA’s/DC’s, nothing. I always had a problem with the billions of the population that the evil angry Hebrew God of the Old Testament would destroy at The Big A it just shows how captive to a concept the R&F really are just blindly accepting such a demonic evil doctrine and the belief that so called “apostates” DF’ed/DA’ed will be destroyed without a resurrection.My research back then before the Internet age was made up of normal reading material from Ray Franz,Penton,Reed etc and summed up the reality for me, the life of a Dub is a desperate struggle of pointless meeting attendance,trying to be a 10 hours a month publisher,pointless pre study and juggling family commitments, we had a circuit visit many years ago from a jumped up ass called Michael Purbrick and his talk focused on the theme of a “load being light” and spoke about how light the load is for Dubs! completely lost track of reality.


  15. serein says:

    why wouldnt jehovah kill billions of people at armagedon? he killed every one in noahs day didnt he,alot are dieing anyways with all the earth quaks and desease, and famins wars, it might be that most people are going to be killed becose of all that,and not all of a sudden on the same day,i dont beleve that only jws are going to be saved thoe i feel jehovah has chosen his people and hes saving them for heaven then any one whos left after all the wars and what ever else has happend when the end comes theyl still be here to see the new sistem,then get judged acordingling on what ever the new scrolls tell us to do,


  16. trini_servant says:

    I seeking concious witnesses in Trinidad and Tobago. I at all there are any of you on this board…please send me an email. I just need to know im not the only one aware of the GB’s lies in this country


    • JJ says:

      Please hang in there Trini. You are not alone here anyway! The sad truth is that locally, most of us are alone and cannot speak to our closest friends or family members for fear of being deemed an apostate and being put on trial as such. There are many places like this, and more being added all the time. God and Christ will continue to make the stones cry out my dear sister.

      Your brother,


  17. Freethinkerinjah says:

    hi I am part of the conscious wittness class. I just discovered this websit after being alone for over 12 years. But the cool thing is Jehovah, Jesus and the angels directed me the whole way and Jehovah,s holy spirit was a lamp to my footsteps. What a wonderful opportunity to learn about JEhovah without the distraction of the GB, or judgemental ones who have not woke up yet. I am in spiritual paradise and had to disown myself in my ego and what I thought I knew about JEhovah after 35 of being a JW, thanks to how the GB defined JEHOVAH. Now I allow Jehovah to define himself to me. Praise to Jehovah Keep praying to Jehovah and tell him all the concerns of your heart, he will listen and help you. I am living proof! Love you all very much freethinkerin


  18. Ray B says:

    On the point about the GB being worked into every talk, I listened to the latest JWTV today as my wife watched it. In 1 1/2 hours the GB, the organisation & Jehovah were all mentioned many times as well as the emphasis on what the organization is accomplishing. Yet in all that time not once was there mention of Christ Jesus who gave his life in our behalf. Where is Jesus in all this was all I could think & it made me angry. Every closing prayer of every meeting I go to gives thanks to Jehovah for the GB & the organization & the blessings & accomplishments of such, but no thanks for what Jehovah’s most beloved Son accomplished. No mention of the immense love Jesus has for each one of us. That makes me angry too. I feel that I’m only still “In the truth” due to my wife being so “In the truth”. I only wish she could see the reality of it all


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