manpraying resentmentAs a person who has suffered from much resentment sense learning The Truth About the Truth (TTATT). I have needed to put tools into place in order to get over it. For me, it hasn’t been easy. I believed with all my heart that I would not grow old in this system and now that is where I find myself. Growing old and unprepared to support my wife and myself through old age. As much as I hate to admit it, I realize that ultimately the blame lies with me. I could have heeded the warnings about those who claim the end is close and warnings about false prophets from Christ but I didn’t. I also ignored the Watchtowers prophetic record especially when people at the door would mention it to me. (See previous article:  “A Review of the Society’s Prophetic Record

Nelson Mandela once said, “Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.” I find that true in my case except I don’t literally want to kill my enemies.  Resentment is actually a poison for me. No matter how much poison I take, it has no effect on my “enemies.”  If anything, it only gives them more power over me. I find myself letting them rent space in my head for free. These people are my close family who still are Jehovah’s Witnesses. One family member especially can put me over the edge if I am not careful. My day can be going fine and then a short conversation with them over the phone could have a devastating effect. These resentments are deep and even though I try to suppress them, they can surface without warning and cripple me if I am not prepared. That is why I am trying to understand my resentments and remove them before they destroy me.

What are the effects of resentment? At I found this article helpful:


Resentment is most powerful when it is felt toward someone whom the individual is close to or intimate with. To have an injury resulting in resentful feelings inflicted by a friend or loved one leaves the individual feeling betrayed as well as resentful, and these feelings can have deep effects.

Resentment is an emotionally debilitating condition that, when unresolved, can have a variety of negative results on the person experiencing it, including touchiness or edginess when thinking of the person resented, denial of anger or hatred against this person, and provocation or anger arousal when this person is recognized positively. It can also have more long-term effects, such as the development of a hostile, cynical, sarcastic attitude that may become a barrier against other healthy relationships, lack of personal and emotional growth, difficulty in self-disclosure, trouble trusting others, loss of self-confidence, and overcompensation. By contrast, resentment does not have any direct negative effects on the person resented, save for the deterioration of the relationship involved.

To further compound these negative effects, resentment often functions in a downward spiral. Resentful feelings cut off communication between the resentful person and the person he or she feels wronged them, which can result in future miscommunications and the development of further resentful feelings. Because of the consequences they carry, resentful feelings are dangerous to live with and need to be dealt with. Resentment is an obstacle to the restoration of equal moral relations among persons, and must be handled and expunged via introspection and forgiveness.

Psychologist James J. Messina recommends five steps to facing and resolving resentful feelings. (1) Identify the source of the resentful feelings and what it is the person did to evoke these feelings, (2) develop a new way of looking at past, present and future life, including how resentment has affected life and how letting go of resentment can improve the future, (3) write a letter to the source of the resentment, listing offenses and explaining the circumstances, then forgive and let go of the offenses (but do not send the letter), (4) visualize a future without the negative impact of resentment, and (5) if resentful feelings still linger, return to Step 1 and begin again. Read more:

I believe this is very good advice from this Psychologist. Changing our view of the past, present, and future is not easy but necessary. It brings to mind these following scriptures:

Matthew 6:14-16 (NIV) For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Luke 6:37 (NIV) Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.

For me it is not easy to get out of my head, leave past resentment behind and enjoy the moment. Lately I have been taking long walks, several miles a day. If you can walk at a park or other peaceful place like the beach, so much the better- it is so therapeutic. This gives me time to live in the moment and not worry about the past or future. Some say the moment is all we really have. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow isn’t here yet. I am not saying, “live for today for tomorrow we shall die.” I am saying I try to focus on enjoying today and not worrying about tomorrow. Isn’t this what Jesus meant when he said at Matthew 6: 34, “So, never be anxious about the next day, for the next day will have its own anxieties. Sufficient for each day is its own badness.” Right before that he said,  “Keep on, then, seeking first the kingdom and his righteousness, and all these other things (our daily needs) will be added to YOU.” For me this is easier said than done. I need to work at it everyday. My prayers these days are much more simple than they were in the past. I always ask my heavenly father for HIS will to be done and not my own. Sad to say, I haven’t always been that way. It seems the older I get, the less I find that I know. I am at a point in my life where I don’t feel I really know all that much. It has been a very humbling experience. To lose your family, your religion, and much of your financial means of living is not easy, but it might be the place in my life where God can actually begin to mold me to do his will, not mine.  I hope this is the case…

My faith is strong in our heavenly father because I know he has taken me to this place where I find myself today. When I focus on this it makes it easier for me to remove my resentments. Yes they do creep up from time to time but with Gods help I will remove them completely and display more fruits of the spirit. Galatians 5:22-24, “On the other hand, the fruitage of the spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faith, mildness, self-control. Against such things there is no law. Moreover, those who belong to Christ Jesus impaled the flesh together with its passions and desires.” I have a long way to go in correcting my walk with Christ. I have not found this walk in any religion or church as of yet. Christ alone is my head and I look to him to guide me and remove the resentments that have poisoned my life for so long. May he bless all of us who have been mislead and help us all to move beyond any resentment we may have for Jehovah’s Witnesses, the Watchtower and all of our families who are still held Captive To a Concept.”

Your brother in Christ,

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8 Comments on Removing Resentment for The Watchtower and our Jehovah Witness Families

  1. MrsFlower says:

    Another great post…although like you said much easier said than done. I have quite a ways to go before I feel I can let go of this anger/resentment completely but to know I am not alone in this struggle is a great encouragement. I don’t kid myself into thinking I’m the only one with these feelings but to read someone else reiterating emotions so similar to mine is comforting in a way. I am slightly ashamed to admit an indignant part of me wants to hold onto the anger as i feel it is greatly deserved. Despite my indignation I do want so badly to let go and to a point I feel I’ve started…through all my anger and resentment I am happy where I am today and I love my JW family dearly although we disagree on many things. In reality I do not wish I could change my past no matter how much pain it has caused me as it has made me who I am today and I am quite proud of who I’ve become despite my many obsticals. Thank you again for sharing your thoughts…your posts really are a great encouragement and are always written with such love as are all the posts on this site.


  2. FutureMan says:

    I can relate to your post, for at times I must admit that I did have resentment for those in the lead within the organization of Jehovah’s Witnesses this is because I blamed them for the state of God’s people (spiritual impoverishment) in the organization today and my own situation of being shunned.

    I also came to resent my family members those who also cut me of both spiritually and emotionally, but as time went on I realized something, and that is at one time I was like them and cut from the same cloth.

    I also believed those who now call themselves the “faithful slave” and tried to abide by their rules as to disfellowshiping etc.

    I also understand that those who call themselves the “faithful slave” also believe this because of how they themselves had being indoctrinated over many years of conditioning and it can be very hard to recondition yourself to a new way of thinking, that of the Christ, and what he actually taught his followers.

    Jesus did not criticize the Sadducee or the pharisees individually but as a body, what they represented.

    They were mistreating and misleading his people.

    They were also withholding the “key of knowledge” from them.

    But not all of the Jewish leaders were like this.

    And so individually they had the same chance of salvation as all the other Jews that they were in spiritual authority of.

    Would it not be good if those who claim to be the “faithful slave” had a change of heart and thinking and started to look at things as the way that the Lord Jesus does and taught?


  3. Cedars says:

    That’s a great article Greybeard. It’s particularly poignant for me at the moment as I am facing many of my family members for the first time since my “awakening”. I’ve found my own feelings towards them to be far more negative than I anticipated, and this has disturbed me. I don’t think I am afflicted with full-blown resentment, more a frustration at being deprived of the ability to express myself freely to them. Still, your article was very helpful and I like your summary of applicable scriptures and sources, etc. Well written.


  4. Alden says:

    Hi GB,
    It is indeed laudable when you say “I realize that ultimately the blame lies with me”, thereby accepting responsibility for your decisions and not ‘passing the buck’ – a mature attitude! But the blame is only partial – others, too, should shoulder their responsibility whereas they deplorably do not. I heard a good quotation the other day, however: “There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.” So, stay above things, do your best to counteract those faulty decisions of the past and trust in the Lord for the rest. Nothing escapes His notice.


  5. jacqueline says:

    My dear friend and brother, Shalom. “Unless you become as one of these”. Children forgive even when, or just because. They are closer to what God can use, they are moldable. Yes Divine providence have brought you to this stage, now God and Jesus can start the play and you will play the part they want you to play, to the glory of Jehovah. Everything has been to someone else’s glory, now you can be molded. You will pick up your cross and bear it, for a slave is no better than his master. And you will suffer and sacrifice. If Jesus learned obedience from the things he suffered, SO SHALL YOU. Welcome my brother for it seems as if you have been called by God. The choice is yours if you accept such a calling. Take Care Jacqueline.


  6. Stephanie says:

    “There is no testimony without test”, I read on a church billboard. Thank you for voicing many of the feelings I have. I was in from the womb too and df’d this year after finding out TTATT and acting on it. Lopped off with no communication to family there is resentment, sadness, and love for them. I make excuses for them so I won’t get angry about it, but when I allowed myself to admit and work through the anger emotion I felt much better. Jesus is my Savior and He said that He would bring division. They see it applying to themselves, we see it the other way. I just really wanted to thank you for letting me see that others who have accepted the real truth still struggle with feelings of loss. I want to say I have the Lord and nothing I’ve lost here bothers me, but it’s not true, at least yet. Yes Jesus is everything to me, but being human, I still long for familial relationships that I had for 38 years. God bless you as you move forward. Thank you for the suggestions. I read a book that has in the title ’emotional recovery after being a Jehovah’s Witness’. I don’t know the full name but I’m sure it’ll google. It was also helpful.

    In Christ,


    • greybeard says:

      Thank you Stephanie,

      It is great to have you here. We are all brothers and sisters even though we are being rejected for our new found faith in Christ. We hope you keep coming back :)


  7. Bro. Ed says:

    I want to thank all of you here for sharing your faith with me. I left the organisation many many years ago, and for a time I was in the world and part of the world. It’s a typical reaction for many that leave the organisation. But I never at one moment blamed God or Christ for my situation. I didn’t blame my parents who raised me as a Jehovah’s Witness, nor did I blame the other brothers and sisters. After a number of years past, I finally woke up and realized that I had to build a relationship with God and Jesus Christ and not with a man-made organisation.

    Now a number of years on I’m a Christian who lives in the world but wants no part of it. I have a relationship with my Savior, Jesus Christ and my Father Yahweh (Jehovah). I’m still a sinful man, making everyday mistakes, but I’ve allowed the Word of God to correct me, guide me and lead me to salvation. The one thing that I’ve had and have difficulty with is fellowship. I’ve not been able to find individuals that have a strong basis for their belief without it being clouded by false doctrines, such as the trinity…perhaps until now!! I know there are many thousands, if not millions, out there like me and you, desperately wanting to share in Christian fellowship, just like the first century Christians did. If you are from Melbourne, Australia, I would love to share a fellowship meal with you and have our Lord Jesus present to direct our discussions. You can contact me via email (replace the AT with @).

    Your brother in Christ.


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