STRUGGLE [struhg-uhl]

1. to contend with an adversary or opposing force. 2. to contend resolutely with a task, problem, etc.; strive: to struggle for existence. 3. a task or goal requiring much effort to accomplish or achieve.

Synonyms: 1.  oppose, contest, fight, conflict. 7.  endeavor, exertion. 8.  encounter, skirmish. Struggle, brush, clash  refer to a hostile meeting of opposing persons, parties, or forces. Clash  implies a direct and sharp collision between opposing parties, efforts,  interests, etc.: a clash of opinions.

My struggle is between what I was taught upon coming into the truth, and the growing disparity between what the Scriptures teach and what the Watchtower Organization compels its members to practice. Reading Ray Franz’s “Crisis of Conscience” was a jaw dropping, emotionally draining experience. Getting a glimpse of the inner workings of the Governing Body at Brooklyn Bethel is what first caused me to experience “cognitive dissonance”.  This is defined as:

“Cognitive dissonance is an uncomfortable feeling caused by holding conflicting ideas simultaneously. The theory of cognitive dissonance proposes that people have a motivational drive to reduce dissonance. They do this by changing their attitudes, beliefs, and actions. Dissonance is also reduced by justifying, blaming, and denying. It is one of the most influential and extensively studied theories in social psychology.”

So many of the brothers and sisters I speak to allude to this without even knowing what it is. They just intuitively feel that something is wrong and they are trying to figure it out. That is what I am doing. Struggling to reconcile my faith with my conscience and trying to find a way to mesh them together. The more research I do, the more of the friends I find that are having this same epic conflict in their minds and hearts. Some think the Watch Tower Society is simply a false prophet and pure evil. Others say Jehovah’s Witnesses are a cult, however that is an oversimplification and according to Ray Franz himself is an inaccurate designation. Maybe we are in a time similar to Jeremiah’s. There were some that were trying their best to serve Jehovah, despite the fact that their leaders had apostatized from pure worship and needed to repent before God punished them severely.

Many have simply left over the years, and floated along without morals or a hope for the future. Peter Gregerson, the brother that helped Ray write his books by giving him work and a modest place to stay, made a great point about this one time when he said that some leave the Organization and then that spiritual void never gets filled and they “eat drink and [are] merry” because they feel like there is nothing else to be done. This is sad! So can you just go to a non-denominational church and worshiping in your own way? Or the Catholic Church for that matter? That’s a hard one, and a choice that many of us are not ready for. Why not simply do “the fade” and stop going to meetings, service, and melt into the background? Then you are free to worship Jehovah privately- but is that enough either? Will that ease your conscience or make it worse?

More importantly, what does our Heavenly Father want us to do? That’s a big question. A very big one indeed.

18 Comments on The Struggle

  1. K says:

    I have a question for any willing to answer it…Many of you seem to have a true thirst for scripture..if you have decided what you are not going to do anymore…what did you decide to do? What do you do if you get into a religious discussion with someone that has nothing to do with JW’s? Do you still minister? Do you consider spending time debating JW’s a ministry? How have your decisions enriched your life, or your families life? Are you happier now, and what led to that happiness? Are you bitter? Are your overall personality qualities more or less desirable than before the “struggle”? Basically have your changes made you an overall better person or not?


  2. serein says:

    when i talk with others on other web sites about religion i dont point out that jws are right and i dont dissmiss what they beleive, i read about there thoughts on scripture and ask questions to what they think about things and ask for scriptures on it,im not against anyone whos trying to follow christs teachings and to me im not the judge and so a fellow christian is my brother and sis no mater,i feel that since leaving the org has made me accept peole more,when i was in i was not like that i avoided anyone who wasnt a witness and thought i had to prove my beleive and change theres if they were of a diff faith or christian group im not like that anymore,the only people i avoid now are ungodly unkind people who arent nice people,when i say ignore i just mean i dont associate with bad kinds,i dont feel i have to hide my thoughts anymore and i can be open and be free to search the scriptures and find help and freindship in all walks of life who are doing the same,wile a jw i could not do that i feeel now that i was in a cult, and that cult was very brainwashing and can be quite unfreindly when u arnt up to there only judged by jehovah now and not by men.


  3. Charlie says:

    Watchtower targets youths for baptism (“Should Youths Get Baptised?” – WT 15 June 2011 Study Edition):

    Experience of elders going against father’s wishes in connection with baptism of son:


  4. JJ says:

    Thank you for the reference to the post. Very interesting information indeed, and I have put up a link to it on our home page.


  5. pearl says:

    Hello JJ,
    I just arrived here at this site. I appreciate it. I am an anointed JW who is actively partaking a number of years. I am a pioneer as well. Jehovah has clearly shown me some of His issues with those who now rule His people. I just wanted to offer your readers, articles that address these issues.
    The webpage that contains one of the articles is It examines how to handle the apostasy currently over those still within God’s people. In “my profile” on that page, a list of the other articles can be found.
    I continue to work and write there, as spirit grants me understanding. I hope it will help those seeking spiritual provisions during this Tribulation.


    • Dennis says:

      Hi Pearl and welcome to the forum. I read your article at the attached link and have some questions for you.
      1. For what reasons do you think that Jer. 4:1-4 applies to anyone other than Israel? Where is the biblical justification for making application of this passage to anyone other than Israel?
      2. What makes you conclude it has any modern day application?
      3. What makes you conclude it has modern day application to specifically Jehovahs Witnesses?
      4. Your article takes it for granted that Jehovahs Witnesses our GODS house. I would like to know the biblical reasonings that caused you to arrive at that conclusion.

      Thanks in advance for helping me out with these questions.



    • Leigh says:

      Never in my life have I felt such toxic energy run through me after reading through what is actually going on with the Governing Body, the lies that are still being told to JWs. Its disgusting the lack of original thought that is left amongst Witnesses to question everything, people YOU ARE BEING LIED TO HERE THE EVIDENCE IS EVERYWHERE. I am a product of a religious cult called Jehovah’s Witnesses where I was forced to get baptized at 12, fell in love with someone when I was 19 that was not of the faith and my own Mother and Father looked me in the eye and said…”you are no longer our daughter”. This disfellowshipping just about killed my spirit, but I rose above that insane loathsome myth that ‘I am an apostate’, became a nurse, sued the GB for hyjacking my life based on rules that they casually change just like their dirty shorts, and learned to connect with a loving God whom I have direct daily meditative contact with, and where I draw strength from. My Father thank goodness he left (also disfellowshipped because I think he had a couple of beers here and there), I’ve never known pain like the story I lived because of that dividing hateful, judgemental shitcan of principles. Wasn’t it 1957 when ‘disfellowshipping’ came into effect? I remember the Greeks disfellowshipped their own and had to cut them up in little pieces to get rid of them, because they firmly believed Satan had possessed them after they were disfellowshipped. My own Mother has not spoke one word to me in 22 years, does not know my life of service, my beautiful children, she doesn’t know what it feels like to really live in the magic of life, because she’s so in FEAR of a damn Armageddon, I honestly can’t imagine what her relationship with the Divine feels like, looks like….she’s terrified, uncertain, brainwashed, braindamaged, unfulfilled and has no family left because of a cultish body of people who’ve forced their devastating and horrifying belief systems onto them, forcing out of the minds of JWs their own original thought, quest, lifeforce. Robots filled with judgement, its like looking into a Nazi warcamp. I’m so entirely grateful I fleed that fearfully based programming at 19 yrs old, even though I was thrown out for having ‘feelings’ for a man not of my family’s religious principles. I’ve managed to force ahead despite I was given a lifesentence of true abandonment, at least I am here and strong enough to share my story of it with others. If any of you are questioning the teachings that keep changing, the masterful deceptive misinformations and coverups…its all being exposed. Its a facade that is crumbling as we speak. Do yourselves a favor, forgive yourself for falling prey to a large organization that swept you off your feet for dreams of paradise earth and life everlasting, just wipe the mud from your eyes and enjoy your life, love your family, connect honestly and fearlessly with your God, engage with humans because we all come from the same place, we come from the same family. We are ‘made in God’s image’….meaning we are bits of God, we are God working thru us, Spirit having a Human experience. Love people, don’t toss them out and abandon your children because of some ridiculous act like drinking or smoking. Know what happens when the smoking stops? You don’t get your children back. Disfellowshipping is a crime against families and the worst injustice, the most inhumane act imaginable. Wake up! Use your mind! You have one still right? Awaken to what is, and not to what was, time to know a different ‘truth’!


  6. pearl says:

    Hello Dennis,
    When you say “For what reasons do you think that Jer. 4:1-4 applies to anyone other than Israel?”…are you speaking of literal Israel? (or the the seed of the New Covenant? Romans 9:8,9; Gal.4:22,24,26)
    I believe the scriptural answer is in my article, located at
    Your question regarding modern day application can be found at
    Regarding your third question, “3. What makes you conclude it has modern day application to specifically Jehovahs Witnesses?”, I think once you understand the details of these prophecies, you will recognize that they are all being fulfilled in detail within that group, and within no other.
    The reasoning found at, may help you also, to identify that no other organizational structure, nor traditions of other religions, are fulfilling with such detail the divine indications found in the scriptures. With your familiarity of this religion, I’m sure you have heard of experiences where those praying for direction, were lead to this group. This does not happen according to statistical probability, but rather with much greater frequency. Lastly I will mention, but do not expect you to believe, that Jehovah indicated to me that this group was the organization he was using to accomplish his organizational purposes (preaching and gathering many anointed).
    This is similar to how he used the Nation of Israel…to bring forth the seed, Christ. After they rejected him, he declared, “Look, your house is abandoned to you!” Similarly today, this people are accomplishing elements of God’s purpose for our time. They will similarly be rejected, and are being rejected. God’s people (as we see from the nation of literal Israel) have been ruled by wicked ones before. This did not make Him reject them as His people. But in time, he did reject them for their unfaithfulness, after their purpose was fulfilled, and they murdered his son. Jesus spoke of this reality, at Matt.21:33-45. At Mark 12:1-10 Jesus illustrated that Israel was repeatedly sent prophets as well as God’s Son. In rejecting and killing them all (Matt.23:37,28), includong “the son”, the “vineyard” was “taken from them” and “given to a Nation producing it’s fruits.”
    As you know, God spoke of replacing them with those who would have the Law written on their hearts. Rom.2:14,15* shows that these ones would be “of the Nations”.
    I never said that God’s “house” was Jehovah’s Witnesses, as you understand the name. I said that Jehovah’s Witnesses are his people (fulfilling his organizational purposes). God’s house are the anointed. All JW’s are not anointed, nor are all anointed,, JW’s.
    I believe that within those three articles, you will find all the scriptural evidence needed. If after examining these things you need more, please let me know.
    Thank you,


    • Dennis says:


      Thanks for the reply. I’ll make a point of looking into the points you made next week as time permits.



  7. pearl says:

    I typed the scripture wrong, sorry. It is Matt.23:37,38*


  8. pearl says:

    as an afterthought, may also help you see the scriptures application and detailed prophetic fulfillment in this organization.


    • greybeard says:

      This topic “do we need to get out of Gods house? By Pearl has been moved to the new forum.

      Under: Discussions about Jehovah’s Witnesses

      You will need a new login and password. This forum is well worth the few seconds it will take. We don’t know if we can make scriptures pop up in a window yet so please post them if need be.

      Thank you


  9. Bro. Ed says:

    For what it’s worth, I think you have to separate the individuals from any man-made religious organisation. The organisation of JW’s does not represent the body of Christ any more than the Catholic’s, Presbyterians and all the other so called Christian ‘churches’ do. However, inside these organisations there are genuine people who are struggling to do what is scripturally required. Many leave these organisations and stumble and fall. Others find fellowship with other individuals that share similar beliefs. Some go on and form other man-made ‘churches’, incorporating them and marketing them to build a following. It reminds me so much of what was going on in the first century.

    To answer your question “what does our Heavenly Father want us to do?” I can honestly say this; He wants us to get out of Babylon. He wants us to return to His house. He wants us to be the Body of Christ, each individual making up one of the many parts so that we can once again function as a loving brotherhood. Forget the notion of an anointed little flock and a Governing Body as preached by the JW’s. It’s divisive, exclusive, and goes against the inclusive teachings of Christ and the Apostles. It smacks of the clergy class all over again and appeals to the flesh of men (and women).

    The fact is when we leave Babylon we must leave behind the false teachings of spirits and men. When we accept Christ and do what is required to be accepted by him as a member of his body, we must never think we or a collective can all of a sudden wrestle control away from Christ. No one can control what the body or the members of the body will do; only the Head himself, Christ can do this. All we can do is be used by the Head as one of the bodies humble parts. If I’m a nail, then that’s what I am. If I’m an eyelash then that’s what I am. Can 10 toes tell the feet what to do? Can 2 feet tell the legs what to do? None of the parts dictate, it’s the head Christ Jesus who dictates to each of the members what to do. This is what Paul was explaining in 1 Corinthians 12:12-31. Yes there is an order, just as the body has a torso, waist, legs and arms, hands and feet and toes and fingers but all share in health and sickness, and sadness and happiness. All work to the glory of God through His son Christ Jesus.

    I have a book simply called “The Church” by Alan Bunning (You can download a PDF version for free from or purchase a hard copy for a small cover fee) and I can only say that it really helped me understand exactly what the Church is, what it isn’t and why men have failed since the latter part of the first century to hold onto the Body of Christ.

    Your brother in Christ


  10. Anonymous says:

    I try to use the Scriptural examples of all those faithful ones who lived just prior to Christ appearing in 29 CE.
    They witnessed the falsehoods being taught by the religious leaders of Jehovah’s people then, but they did not leave the faith because of the corruption, they waited patiently for the Messiah – the same situation that we now face.


  11. Max says:

    Sitting quietly and patiently waiting for the Lord to put things right in the Kingdom Hall is a lot easier said then done. The Witnesses won’t allow you to sit quietly. How can you go out on the service with confidence teaching the current doctrine when in the last 25 years it has flipped and changed back and forth more times then you can count?

    Who are these people that just pop up out of the blue and say they are ‘anointed’? But you are not allowed to meet them, investigate or question them and are never furnished any proof. If you disagree with anything you are considered apostate and disfellowshipped.

    Even though our allegiance and loyalty should only be to Jehovah and Jesus how is it that we are almost cudgeled into giving the Watchtower (a man written magazine) almost greater status then the Bible itself? Again if you find fault with anything in it and voice that you will again be disfellowshipped.

    It seems that the entire goal is not to love and serve Jehova but to shut up and put up simply to avoid being disfelowshipped as that is exactly what will happen of you don’t tow the WT line on every single letter, twist, turn, change etc etc..

    I for one just can not see myself at present going from door to door promoting something I no longer clearly understand any more let alone truly believe to an extent that I would put my life on it.

    How do you all deal with this?


    • cb says:

      don’t preach crap. would you go around handing dung to people at their doorsteps and say eat it it’s good! The teaching’s of “Jehovah’s Witnesses” are total demon inspired crap. CJ woodworth was stinking posesseddddddddddddddddddddddddddd. He admits and describes it in the finished mystery this is a lurking place of disgusting horrible spirits of evil who enjoy torturing people. They enjoy the total pain of torturing people down to the very last fiber in their bodies. I HATE THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      Guess what. I went to the rosicrucean museum in san jose, ca. Guess what. The head hancho founder or top guy or whoever he was had a pyramid on his gravestone in a weird egyptian temple thing with obelisks and all kinds of crap. Who does this remind you of? Russellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll. DEMONIZED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    • BrotherMcBanal says:

      Max, did Brother Russell say that a man could read his “Studies in the Scriptures” and not need a Bible for ten or more years as long as he had that divine book he felt Jehovah had made? Russell said that, the Bible was second class to his “Study in the Scriptures” books. More data JWs don’t want people knowing, they are like Mormons who say “We only believe in the Bible as long as it is translate or proof-text-ed by our religious Apostles!”


  12. Anonymous says:

    I think they are brainwashed.


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