You probably know that the Watchtower has warned us strongly about “Internet Dating”. I am certainly not encouraging you to go out and do it, because it’s a personal decision for a Christian to pray about and decide what their conscience tells them. But I do feel the current climate merits a discussion of this, for reasons you will see as we progress further in the discussion. The Awake article of April 22, 2005 page 18 says this:

“Should I Try Internet Dating?”
In the fantasy world of computer dating, emotions can become intense prematurely. This can leave you vulnerable to emotional devastation if the relationship does not work out—as is likely. “He that is trusting in his own heart is stupid,” warns Proverbs 28:26. Yes, it is unwise to make serious decisions based upon fantasy and emotion. The proverb thus continues: “But he that is walking in wisdom is the one that will escape.”


Well there’s certainly reason to be cautious as the article mentions in detail. However this is an enormous trend in society today and is only going to get larger and larger as we progress further into and beyond the information age of the 21st century. I decided to do some research on this topic- especially with the idea of seeing how many that are themselves Jehovah’s Witnesses (or call themselves Witnesses) are involved in finding love online. On the positive side of it, Science Daily cited a study that said in part, this:

A new study of online dating site members has found that when couples who had built up a significant relationship by e-mailing or chatting online met for the first time, 94 per cent went on to see each other again. Perhaps surprisingly, the study, by Dr Jeff Gavin, of the University of Bath, also found that men were more emotionally dependent on their ‘e-partners’ than women, and more committed to the relationship.


So it seems that being careful and keeping a cool head when putting your toes into Internet Matchmaking would be wise. “To be forewarned is to be forearmed” as the saying goes. But try mentioning that you met your wife online at a Witness gathering- you’ll be able to hear a pin drop, and then they’ll “get it” and assume you are making a joke! The Watchtower used to say that vaccines were disgusting concoctions of pus and dead animal cells that were injected into you, but eventually over the course of several decades they had changed their minds. Here’s a quote:

“Vaccination never prevented anything and never will, and is the most barbarous practice…We are in the last days; and the devil is slowly losing his hold, making a strenuous effort meanwhile to do all the damage he can, and to his credit can such evils be placed…Use your rights as American citizens to forever abolish the devilish practice of vaccinations.” The Golden Age, 1921-OCT-12, Page 17

So for now internet dating or even simply trying to meet a fellow Witness through an online service has been stigmatized among the friends to the point that it effectively has been banned…Or has it??? In doing research for this post I found some prominent dating sites that cater to Jehovah’s Witnesses, and that have many, many members. So what are all these JWs doing here? Maybe they didn’t read that one particular article or missed the meeting that one or two times when internet dating was discussed. Or maybe…Maybe there are a lot of publishers that are aware it is frowned upon in the extreme, but are doing it anyway, despite what the “faithful slave” has told them.

Notice the following screengrabs of some of these folks, taken directly off a prominent “JW meetup” type of website: (You can view all the screengrabs here.)

A regular pioneer
A regular pioneer

On the Regional Building Committee
She’s volunteers on quick builds

He's a pioneer and Ministerial Servant
He’s a pioneer and Ministerial Servant

My purpose is not to embarrass or “out” anyone by showing you these.  I found six  brothers and sisters (and one really really funny profile that I included in the gallery just for fun) that appear to be active in a matter of a few minutes. Another admitted he was disfellowshipped and is seeking reinstatement. When we pray to our God and Father, aren’t we supposed to work in harmony with our prayers? Remember the story about the fellow standing on his roof while the floodwaters rise? A boat comes by and he turns down the help saying he’s going to “Trust in the Lord”. Then a helicopter and another boat comes too, and after he drowns and gets to heaven he asks God why he didn’t save him. God answers and says “Well I sent you two boats and a helicopter what else did you want?”

So are all of these ones weak worldly Witnesses? Deceptive fakers? I don’t know, but I doubt it. They are in all probability who they say they are- Christian people looking for someone to share their lives with. I for one, wish them well.

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29 Comments on Single JWs Looking For Love Online

  1. greybeard says:

    Wow JJ,
    Nice research! That was an interesting topic that kinda surprised me. It is true the Society does hold the reins very tight on all it’s members. This is probably pushing people away. I know it pushes me away when I see a freedom being taken away. I remember one magazine condemned brothers getting together for Bible studies on their own. Seems that some were researching the NWT on their own and other things. What gives them the right to dictate what we can and cannot do? Oooops I forgot Jesus appointed them over all his domestics in 1918. That’s another one I don’t believe.

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  2. Dennis says:

    I haven’t read the Awake on internet dating that you cited above but I have a couple of observations. First, as you, I wouldn’t encourage someone in this regard one way or the other. What’s funny from the quote though, is the way they demonize the practice from the start, “In the fantasy world of computer dating”. Who say’s it’s a fantasy world? When I was single I had an e-harmony profile and had dinner with 2 or 3 women. Nothing came of it, but nothing came of other dinners I had with women I met in other ways until I met the “one”. E-harmony was just a way to meet women I wouldn’t otherwise have the opportunity to meet, as I travel for work and didn’t meet many women in the town I actually live in. It was also a way to get to know them a little bit to see if an actual face to face was warrented. By using “fantasy world” they tip their hand right from the start and set the tone for the rest of the article and the point of view that they want to get across. They do this all the time in their writing! They continue, “emotions can become intense prematurely. This can leave you vulnerable to emotional devastation if the relationship does not work out”. This is not unique to internet dating this is a pitfall to dating period! All must gaurd against this. Then they add, “as is likely”. Again, who say’s it’s likely? Where’s their documentation? Is this unique to internet dating? I think not, this is common to dating in general IMO. There’s more, “Yes, it is unwise to make serious decisions based upon fantasy and emotion”. Good advice for sure but what’s that to do with only internet dating? Oh, did you notice, there’s that word fantasy again. Wonder why? Just another attempt to control the sheep. I think it’s not internet dating their afraid of but the internet period!

    D

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  3. C.E.F says:

    Interesting subject, one that has plenty of room for debate no doubt. One the one hand, there have been sucessful relationships that have happy endings that started on the internet, then theres examples that aren’t so happy. I have a friend that fell in love with a woman online, spent three years correpsonding online, fell in love with her online actually, only to find out in the end that she was married and was ( unknown to him )having a digital affair, caused him a lot of heart ache and money since he actually flew to her home state to meet her and got stood up. This is a tough one to be certain.

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  4. serein says:

    i met my jw husband on a jw dating site and im the happiest person for doing so hes the most humble man and kindest man iv ever met,and u know what when he came here from the usa to the uk to live with me to marry me to be with me and all my kids he was totaly ignored in my cong and so was i after that just cos i met him on a site, it says marry only in the lord and i did.weve both since left and now get shunned for dissing ourselfs but u know what sine i met him we been shunned anyways.

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  5. Anonymous says:

    Quoting from a 1921 Golden Age?? I wonder what was in other non JW books, magazines, or newspapers from back then. It is interesting that out of all the JW publications this is the one that was chosen to quote from. Have you read any current magazines on vacinations. It contains totally diffrent viewpoints.

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    • Eve says:

      I think that early magazine was only quoted to show with an example that the WTS’s views can and do change a lot. As their viewpoint changed on vaccination, it can change on online dating or on other issues as well.

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  6. india lopez says:

    I feel as with the comment about vaccinations:It is not up to us as individuals who are not part of the faithful and discreet slave class to decide if any advice or decision by jehovahs organization is sound ..right or deserves our backing or merit.These brothers are appointed by Jehovah to give us our spiritual food and isntruction AT THE PROPER TIME…this means that details of prophecies or advice on the bible and the world may come though the society from jehovah at different times according to what jehovah feels is proper for that period in time and history.This also means that as humans we are prone to human error and the bros are no different but jehovah does not allow and would not allow those brothers to deceive us by teaching us their own viewpoints rather than Jehovah simply to control us or to cause us harm.Anyone brought up in the truth knows its not about control or abuse of power.That is a worldly apostate view of the truth.

    Therefore its not a case of the brothers telling us what we can or cant do or dictating to us…the attitude that ‘who are they to tell us what to do’ sounds more like the evil slave class than anything that is in an individuals heart to serve and obey jehovah and his organization through love and deep respect for those who take the lead among us.

    I myself have been a witness for over 20 yrs.I have never been married and I am finding it extremely difficult to remain single.There is not opportunity for me to find or meet a brother as there are no spare brothers to find where I am and they all marry before they are 20 which means for sisters well over 20 and nearing their 50s like me often don’t get the chance to marry.I dont want to and dont feel i can remain unmarried for the rest of my life and im finding each day a struggle to get through as I have no family etc in the truth and Ive been on my own 26 yrs..with no company except when I go to the meetings ..if the new system does not come in my lifetime but I can say that I would rather die in jehovahs service with a good conscience and not having committed a sin, to offend jehovah morally is far better to live with than knowing you have disobeyed and offended jehovah.Jehovah never lets you down but a husband or wife in the world will.Jehovahs way is always the best and we would be better to obey they society rather than argue with it that is disobeying jehovah and that’s very serious.I LOVE MY GOD JEHOVAH he is my rock!

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  7. india lopez says:

    Sorry:Adding to my quote that was not spell checked by me before submission!..’I would rather live my life as a single person with a good conscience and die in this system than to commit a sin and offend and hurt jehovah…’ partly misspelt or not checked before submitting this part ‘.if the new system does not come in my lifetime but I can say that I would rather die in jehovahs service with a good conscience and not having committed a sin, to offend jehovah morally is far better to live with than knowing you have disobeyed and offended jehovah. (I meant it is far better not to offend jehovah! and have a good conscience!)..apologies!

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  8. Rupunzelsawake says:

    Hi india lopez. Thanks for visiting the site and sharing your experiences and observations. I do sympathise with you in your “single” situation. You seem very sincere and have a strong love for Jehovah and a desire to please Him. I hope in time you may meet a man who feels similarly, to share your life with!
    I was a baptised witness myself for over twenty years, and raised both my children there, despite having an unbelieving husband. I had no doubts about the organisation for the first ten years or so, although I did find it very hard when I had young children. I can’t say I felt happy. I felt more guilt than anything else because no matter how much I tried to do for Jehovah, it never seemed enough. I also discovered that there was a real problem in the organisation as far as caring for and helping one another. I think this was because so much emphasis was put on the preaching activity. It’s almost like we felt “absolved” from helping one another if we had “put in our time” for the week. I would hear comments like, “sister so-and –so wouldn’t be depressed if she made more effort to be at the meetings, or out in field service”. It’s like shifting the blame as a deflection from our own inadequacies. That’s a real shame because Jesus said his disciples would be recognised by their “love for one another”, not by their organised preaching activity. In fact if you look at Jesus’ parable about the sheep and the goats, and read what it actually says, the sheep would be judged favourably for caring for the practical needs of their brothers. Perhaps you as a single sister, only responsible for yourself, haven’t experienced a need for support, so you haven’t noticed it’s absence. Even if you have received support don’t assume everyone else has had the same experience. I’m not saying that all JWs are unloving, absolutely not. There are many who are wonderful, caring and generous people. However, as an organisation it doesn’t stand out from any other on the matter.
    I left the organisation in June this year because of conflicts with my conscience. If your conscience is clear, that’s great for you, but please understand, my conscience was plagued. For the past ten years I became increasingly concerned with our organisations judgment of others, those of “Christendom”, and even of each other in the congregation. I had observed for myself the shocking hypocrisy evident in our organisation, which claimed to be “cleansed”. I was no longer content to go along with this for I know that “we will be judged the way we are judging”…and we will be “measured” the way we are measuring. (Matthew 7:1,2) The “new light” tells us that the faithful and discreet slave class won’t be approved and appointed over all the Master’s belongings until Jesus comes at the great tribulation. (July 15 ’13 WT) There remains the real possibility they won’t hear the “well done faithful slave”. I know for you that seems unthinkable at the moment. Sister, as unpleasant as it is, you have to remain aware of this and exercise caution! Instead of just trusting unquestioningly everything these imperfect , and uninspired, men say, (no matter how well-meaning they may be) please remember these scriptural cautions:
    Keep working out your own salvation with fear and trembling (Philippians 2:12) This means you do not surrender your thinking over to men, who can be in error. Salvation does not belong to men to give (Psalms 146:3) Do not become slaves of men (1 Cor 7:23) Test the inspired expressions (1 John 4:1) The spiritual man examines all things but is not examined by any man (1 Cor 2:15). Many deceivers have gone into the world (2 John 7). They will mislead if possible even the chosen ones (Mat 24:24). All men are liars (Rom 3:4). Anyone inexperienced puts faith in every word (Prov 14:15) Men are suppressing truth (Rom 1:18,25) If men declare something beyond the good news they are accursed (Gal 1:8) Do not go beyond the things written (1 Cor 4:6). Add nothing to his (Jehovah’s) words (Prov 30:5,6) Examine the scriptures to see if these things are so (Acts 17:11). Put away falsehood, speak truth (Eph 4:25) Do not be shaken from your reasoning (2 Thes 2:2). Use thinking abilities, discernment (Prov 2:10,11).
    I am sure you are very familiar with these! I would like to know what convinces you that the Governing Body are appointed by Jehovah God and are being led by Holy Spirit? I look forward to your response!

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  9. Rupunzelsawake says:

    The claim is that the “faithful and discreet slave class” (now just the governing body) were appointed by Jehovah in 1919, and henceforth led by holy spirit. Is it possible to be led by holy spirit and be LED by Satan at the same time? According to the Watchtower magazine it is. I was reading through the “Proclaimers of God’s Word” book and came across the section about “practices that have been abandoned” by God’s people. On page 201 it mentions how for 35 years Brother Russell taught that the pyramid of Gizeh was Jehovah’s plan written in stone, in that it “corroborated” Biblical time periods. (Volume 6 of “Studies in the Scriptures” called “The Divine Plan of the Ages”, has a whole chapter/lesson dedicated to the “stone witness”, with diagrams and it’s measurements.) Russell died in 1916 but the Bible Students continued to believe this right up until the writing of some WT articles in 1928. So, at the time of their supposed appointing by Jehovah in 1919, they were holding to the pyramid teaching. The WT articles are cited in the Proclaimers book so I decided to look them up. The first one states that whereas they had thought Jehovah had built the pyramid (as testimony to his Plan), they now admit Satan built it, for the purpose of misleading mankind. They said they had been “LED AWAY FROM GOD and his service”. Check the magazine for yourself. So, according to the WT you can be led by Jehovah and Satan at the same time. Doesn’t inspire much confidence does it. (It also doesn’t make sense either, bearing in mind the words of Matthew 6:24) Or did Jehovah consider it “proper” for His people at that time in history to be led astray by Satan? That’s just ridiculous.

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    • tatenda101 says:

      dear ex sister,its sad to learn that u left Jehovah,s organisation like u did. What you should hv done even though u had doubts was to compare,evry other religion out there, with what you had learnt and come to know. it is safe to say tht you would find you made a big mistake.you dont leave bcz a few pple didnt show you love,we are impeferct,but we try to live by bible standards,the main being love. plz dnt turn into an apostate, u seem like aa good person

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      • Rupunzelsawake says:

        I don’t know if your comment was intended for me tatenda101…If so, thank you. Yes, I try to be a good person. I am really no different than what I was before I was disfellowshipped for apostasy. I made the elders follow through the Societies protocols and disfellowship me. You see, we are not permitted to hold views and beliefs that differ in any way from the governing bodys. I had meetings with elders before I was invited to a judicial committee meeting. I explained to them a couple of my different “ideas”. They said the only choices I had was to disassociate myself or have them disfellowship me. I maintained my integrity and kept a good conscience by allowing them to put me out of the congregation. This was their act, not mine. The primary reasons were doctrinal, not a lack of love, though I had observed a lack of real love in the congregation. I do not believe that JWs have been specially selected and are led by God’s spirit. The evidence (and the scriptures), as I understand it, just does not support that.

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  10. NFC says:

    Hi,
    Am 28 and my first born son is 11 who happens to be a brother and my other daughter is doing very fine spiritually too. Nearly six years now, I am single due to disappointments and was left with a broken heart. Right now, am afraid to fall in love again but sometimes feel as if I need someone in my life. Am confused, I do not want to ruin my relationship with Jehovah by being with someone who won’t love my kids and bring me temptations. I know someone who takes bible principles seriously can be found in Jehovah’s org. but what am not forgetting is that we are all imperfect. What do I do? Can internet dating be right for me?

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  11. Hi,I’m Gerald. From phillipines.

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  12. Debra says:

    I have read all of the above and the bottom line is do you love Jehovah God and trust in him? You have all been told many times that the men in our organzation are imperfect. Yes, people are imperfect and we are living in critical times hard to deal with! Satan wants to turn everyone one of his dedicated people away any way he can and he uses our desires and imperfections against us. NO! internet dating is not right for an baptized witness? Jehovah God gives us wisdom and discernment to use. He gives us dignity from this morally corrupt world! Those who fail to heed his loving advice will pay the price. Remember Jesus said “he that has endured to the end will be saved. This is not the real life. There are many blessing in store for those who love and obey him.

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  13. JimmyG says:

    Debra- you say: “do you love Jehovah God and trust in him?…..Jehovah God gives us wisdom and discernment to use. He gives us dignity from this morally corrupt world! Those who fail to heed his loving advice will pay the price.”

    2 questions- how do people come to love Jehovah and acquire wisdom and discernment? What is the price that will be paid?

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  14. Frank says:

    Hi Debra. I have just finished the full reading of Ray Franz’s book Crisis of Conscience.

    This is a book everyone should read BEFORE they make the final decision to get baptised. I appreciate the reason why you have strung together the sentences you have, but I urge you to read at least the last few chapters in this fine expose of the ‘other side of the coin.’ The word ‘imperfect’ simply doesn’t work with many of the inhumane treatment meted out to genuinely loving individuals.

    Ray’s definition of the ‘concept’ that acolytes fall in love with is excellent and helps us all understand whether the light given to those affected is of human or of divine origin.

    Just read it, Debra. What have you got to lose? Approval, maybe?

    There is now an audio version on Youtube as well.

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  15. Him Gerald 26 yes old..a regular pioneer I’m pray a girl ltruth loves

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  16. daniel says:

    You who is standing beware you do not fall,do not give way for the devil,from what am seeing here,some people here are apostates whom we must refrain from please if there brothers here please be guilded..especially now we are close to the end..(I am a single young spiritual and hard working brother,I am black.I want a good sister nomatter the size,colour etc for marriage)

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    • Mark says:

      Your right many apostates are pretending to be genuine witnesses and are spreading their poisonous lies abiyt the governing biddy with their bad and malicious speech . On this matter all I’ll say is my Jehovah deal with them.

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  17. Aldona says:

    I live in London . My congregation is Polish Debden. I looking for friend who love Jehovas and got the same hope for the future .

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    • eminent says:

      Aldona:
      I live in London . My congregation is Polish Debden. I looking for friend who love Jehovas and got the same hope for the future .

      i need serious spiritual minded sister

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  18. Wendy Rodriguez Conde says:

    Hola soy de Tijuana BC y estoy buscando pareja un hermano de entre 40 y 50 años ….
    yo tengo 40 años y me gustaria poder conocer a alguien .

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  19. i need a frnd

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  20. eminent says:

    i need a good and spiritual minded sister, I’m 33 y.

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  21. Mark says:

    Hi I have read quire a few comments and I realise that a lot of individuals on your websites who say they are Jehovah’s Witnesses are actually apostates they are trying to do Satans work for him in luring true Christians away from the truth. Please do something about it and protect Jehovah’s true followers from apostates who are using this website to cruelly and maliciously attack the governing body verbally.

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  22. Chuks Justice says:

    Going by the responses so far.. Can’t we say that online dating should be left at individual Christian’s discretion? Though many hide what they truly are on sites like this but I think with time the other party can truly discern whether party A’ is truly a serious servant of Jehovah. Just an opinion dear brothers and sisters.

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  23. kaveena10 says:

    To the person with the story “man died went to heaven to meet God”. Isn’t that like teaching that all good people goes to heaven .

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  24. Spiritual says:

    Sono una sorella italiana che serve Geova A tempo pieno, vivo mettendo sempre prima il Regno.
    Però soffro tantissimo di solitudine è vorrei conoscere un bravo fratello.
    Grazie è ciao

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