I have been receiving some feedback on my little “struggle site” as I call it to myself. Like many of you, I cannot speak freely to my closest friends and family members about all of this, and it has hit me with a range of emotions over the last several months.  When I really started to wrap my head around the idea that we may not have all the answers like we thought it can be very depressing.

Below is a couple of the comments I’ve received in the couple weeks since I started the site:


Hi thanks for this web site! I to have struggled for years. 6-7 years ago I started reading The studies in the scriptures. For me this has opened my eyes to some of our teaching I have problems with.


I have been going thru a similar struggle. I also at one time served as an elder also giving many circuit and district assembly parts. I am still a JW however in my personal bible study I have come to many conclusions that I could not share openly with other JWs…I have not read the books you mention but may do so. I stepped down as elder when my conscience would no longer permit me to enforce hundreds of rules that go beyond what is written. I even struggle while out in service if I should place certain magazines or books. I can assure you that you are not the only one who is struggling with these things. I know of no one I can talk with personally face to face about these issues since all of my friends and family are staunch supporters of the Watch Tower Society.


Here is one of the responses I gave to a brother via email:

[ Dear ___ ]

I only started realizing something was wrong with the Organization a couple of years back. About 6 months ago I read Crisis of Conscience by Ray Franz and that confirmed my fears. After that evidence I realized Jehovah’s spirit is not with the governing body.

But my brother, I do feel in my heart that what we have done in the truth has not been a waste of time. And just like in Jeremiah’s time, the leaders were on the wrong path and were poor examples but Jehovah’s people were still capable of serving him acceptably.

I don’t know where it’s all leading but I’ve been praying that I keep studying, keep my faith in Jehovah and Christ intact and not “go crazy” and think that now I can just do whatever I want like the world does. This is what made me feel like the blog was his will for me and that maybe together all of us enlightened JWs can figure it out and at least have someone to talk to. There is one other brother who I know that feels as we do, he is in my area. But like me, his wife doesn’t want to hear any of it and we have to be very very careful.

Be careful ____ and thank you for the post. Email me anytime.

Your brother,


I guess what I get out of this is that there is a lot of us that are facing this struggle, and we feel alone and somewhat lost. My goal and my prayer is that we can support one another and perhaps band together if even only in a cyber-place like this, and reassure ourselves that we are not alone. And that Jehovah and Jesus are there for us and see our plight. Maybe somehow or someway we can meet together and talk and even study the Bible together in groups as the early Bible Students did and the first century Christians did too. But one thing at a time. I’m gonna be patient and wait on Jehovah and then I’m gonna do the next step. As soon as I figure out what that is I’ll let you know…

Rating 4.00 out of 5

12 Comments on Responses to the Site

  1. Jayme says:

    JJ, I just wanted say that I really enjoy the site and find it very encourageing! Thanks for the work you do to give us a place to share with one another.


  2. jacqueline says:

    You hold your head up! Help is on the way! There is a whole community of us already. The once apologist, Greg Stafford will finally talk on the Richard Rawe telephone Hook-up. He won’t be on until February but I hear he has a lot to say. At one time you would have thought he was JR Brown. Now they have turned against him. He was their best friend on the Internet.
    This Saturday at 6:pm CST 732.432-8710 pin#9925. You can talk after the guest get off, ask questions.
    Then this is what you might enjoy: Rick plays music and after it is over and everybody is gone Former elders all of us just talk to each other. Some of us are from other countries. (same problems). On Sunday at 12 noon we have bible reading everyone is unmuted. You get a change to read Bible verses and comment. There is no book but the Bible. Of course we have aid book and the big Bible Commentary written by Br. Russell is what I look at some time just to see what he says on the scripture we are reading. Not everyone will agree with every word others say but it is good, You can fill the Holy Spirit with the 2 or 3 that Jesus says it takes.
    Coming March 19th A Bible Student Elder give the annual talk on choosing elders. They vote, the whole cong. because they know the ones up for elder. The society knows nothing about some of the men they appoint. There is House church on Sunday at 1:00 on same number with Rick Feason moderating.
    There is going to be a convention in August next year in Mass.
    Every Sat there is something over 200 people are on. I talk to much, but I don’t want you to get discouraged. The BS of Chicago are going to have a talk call in program for witnesses once a week. There is a lot where you can come in by phone or computer.
    Web-cast on friends website allows us to type to each other as everyone is talking. You see the four BS. and they see what you are talking about and answer. You can electronically raise your hand to talk thru your computer. Join in tell us what site you post on so we can know each other by voice.
    I’m going to stop now. I travel a lot so I have met a lot of friends in different parts of the US and they have the same gripes. Listen to just one part of my story on sixscreens of the watchtower. The administrator has a sense of humor to don’t look at the eeriness of it and judge it. Barbara Anderson is telling her story and many others that you have seen on the news.
    Good-bye for real this time.
    In Him, Christ our Saviour,


  3. Alden says:

    Dear brothers and sisters,

    I, too, am having difficulty finding peace amidst this turmoil. I don’t think the answer to the WT organization is to build another one, however! It would only develop flaws with time just like the other ones, because the root problem is that humans are fallible, imperfect, hence sinners.

    I don’t believe it can be said categorically that “Jehovah’s spirit is not with the governing body”. Much of what comes from Brooklyn has sound reasoning, especially about moral principles. Or does someone really have a biblical justification of homosexuality? And much council on love is beneficial – the problem it seems is that it goes into one ear and out the other for a lot of WT readers. As I see it, the basic two “criminal” flaws of the WTS is its stand on blood and shunning (disfellowshipping). While something good can be said about possibly avoiding blood transfusions, when it comes down to the nitty-gritty a person’s present life is infinitely more precious than a theological viewpoint on a debatable interpretation. And how shunning is destroying families cannot be emphasized enough. The rest is purely theological – you can take it or leave it. If one has a different view on a theological matter than the WTS, I don’t see any compelling need to sever all ties with them. There is a classic difference between what we BELIEVE and what we KNOW, and I think most of you will agree with me that we KNOW very little! In fact, I theorize that when we believe something to, let’s say, 90% percent, then we tend to say we “know” it. For example, I believe to 90% that there is no Trinity. I can’t say that I “know” it, however, because I have never been in heaven. I may get a surprise some day but that is just to say I don’t really know 100% at present. Why should I make the issue a life or death struggle?

    If anyone finds more comfort and spiritual refreshment in home churching than in attending meetings at the Kingdom Hall, I sincerely wish them the best. The objective is spirituality, closeness to our Saviours, God and Christ, as well as compassion for our fellow humans. In regard to the latter, there are a lot of needy souls at the Kingdom Hall; why not start with them? “Love is all you need” a bright poet once said. There is no compulsion to accept elder/pioneer responsibilities and subsequent submission to Brooklyn. There is more than enough to do in our personal ministry, ministering to the spiritual and emotional needs of others.

    I marveled once at a comment from “Mother Teresa”. She was asked, “What should change in the Catholic Church?” Her answer was, “You and me!” I’m sure this enlightened person was more than aware of the defects in the Catholic Church, but she didn’t let it affect the personal sense of her mission.

    I know it’s difficult to fend off people who have the morbid desire to intrude on our free will but there is no escaping it or staying above it except in the Faith. No man is an island as another poet also said. We need a certain degree of fellowship. I think we will have to put up with a lot of abuse until our deliverance arrives, brothers and sisters.

    Peace and love to all!


  4. JWB says:

    Alden, you’ve made some very good points. When the organization sticks to what is actually written in the Scriptures, that is good as the Biblical counsel can help people to change their lives for the better. However, when it goes “beyond the things that are written”, it can have a serious impact on the lives of those who “trust” the GB. You mentioned two things that could be regarded as “sins” against the brothers and sisters.

    There is also, in my opinion, a third “sin” that the organization is guilty of, and that relates to concerning itself with “times and seasons” which the Father has placed in his own jurisdiction, the consequences of which have had a profound impact on the way some have viewed their short-term future. It could be said that those who lived with “a view to dates” were wrong to do so, but I still place a high degree of responsibility upon the GB in having pointed to “times and seasons” in order to generate a sense of urgency that the end of the system of things was near. I feel sure that many spiritually weaker ones have experienced shipwreck of their faith because of this, especially when they saw the years and decades roll by despite continued assurance that Armageddon was “just round the corner.”

    Imagine the problems caused as a result of the commendation in the late sixties of those who were “selling homes” and making other serious financial decisions based on the supposedly “few short remaining years of this system.” How many followed their supposedly good example only to find the “few short remaining years” turning into decades, the money running out, and no home of their own? Also, what about those at that time who were encouraged as youths to forsake all but basic education, since the that Awake! article said they would not fulfill a career in this system of things?

    Suppose an adult were to continually tell a child how good it is to be beside the waters’ edge and the child feels encouraged to go there but unfortunately falls into the water and flounders about trying to keep afloat. What would we say to that adult if he threw up his hands innocently and said, “Well, I didn’t actually TELL the child to go near the edge!”

    I’ve just completed a new page on my blogsite that looks at the term “this generation” in the light of various scriptures and, I think, a very interesting quote from a Watch. 1995 Nov 1 article. If anybody reading this is interested, the information can be found at:



    • Alden says:

      Yes, JWB, you caught the third cardinal sin for sure. I think it is justly in third place, because of the individual’s own responsibility to not go against his better judgement. The right attitude would be to think that the Lord could knock on your door any day or in 50 years. (In this regard I think of Jesus illustration of the man who tore down his storehouses to build bigger ones.)
      Not a few have correctly thought in a balanced way and not jeopardized their futures or those of their loved ones in this world in which we are forced to live. I think it true, however, that the majority have been scathed at least in some way by the WTS’ trying to dictate to Jehovah when he should bring on the end. Those damaged deserve our warmest sympathies.


  5. siam says:

    I would add the fact that as Witnesses we cannot openly question tenets of our faith. The fact that most of us have to remain anonymous for fear of retribution shows that today’s organization like the Pharisees has thrown out love and mercy and replaced those qualities with arrogance and fear.

    When you think about it, Jesus allowed the Pharisees to question him, Jehovah himself allowed Abraham and Habakkuk to question him, and yet as Witnesses we cannot question the Governing Body?

    There are many good sincere people within the organization, and many of the teachings are truth, however the Governing body has allowed themselves to be blinded by their desire to retain power over 7 million people and the end result is an organization that is rotting from within. It would all change if they would remove themselves from acting as masters of our faith.



    • Alden says:

      You’re right, siam, another cardinal error. By squelching discussion, nothing will ever improve. You just have to ‘make sure of all things and hold fast to what is fine’ concerning the WTS. If they want to think they are infallible, you can’t do much about it. You will not have to answer for them, however. Just concentrate on those many good, sincere people you encounter as well as the truly established Christian tenants that the WT frequently conveys.

      The solution you propose is the right one, but I fear the WTS has missed the boat. I don’t think another Ray Franz & Co. will ever rise up again at the WT headquarters. Maybe another 100 years without an Armageddon will make the WTS reconsider its stand, but they will probably pull another one out of the hat in that case.

      Peace be with you!


  6. thomas says:

    My Dear Brothers and Sisters,

    I am new here – Mediator007 – this being my first comment.
    I have enjoyed very much reading on this site as I find a refreshment with the fellowship of like minded persons of faith.

    In the above discussion (sorry for being so late) there is one additional extremely troubling error of the Wt and GB that I wish to add. All of your comments are right on the mark but this is the one that has led me to this juncture of my life.

    The teaching that Christ is only the mediator of the anointed is completely wrong scripturally. Leaving in effect the GC with no mediator except to faithfully follow the GB and the organization. This constant emphasis upon themselves rather than Christ Jesus whom we owe our salvation to would be laughable if it were not so very serious and misleading to witnesses.

    My sincere Christian love to each one of you


  7. Disappointed says:

    Hello bro. Thomas. We’re happy you found us! I think most of us feel as you do. To me personally this is the biggest thing. Jesus is the mediator for us all not just for a few. There is a very good video in the media section on this. Hope to see many more of your comments!


  8. Amos says:

    Hello bro. Thomas, & welcome to the site.

    I most certainly agree with your thoughts on Chtist being the mediator for the whole world.
    This is in fact exactly what John wrote in 1 John 2:1,2;
    1 “My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous. 2 He is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the sins of the whole world.”

    Your brother,


  9. DanielB says:

    You are exactly right Amos . We can also consider that when Moses held up the “fiery snake” in the wilderness , it was not only those born into that nation who would live , but any from other nations with them , who put faith in God’s chosen provision for life .

    Numbers 21: 7-9


    • Amos says:

      Amen brother Dan.

      That’s a good illustration concerning Moses. We know that there was a vast mixed company of other nations who joined with the Israelites in the Exodus. These no doubt picture the Gentiles who would later accept the Gospel message beginning in the first century.


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